Showing posts with label pastoral care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pastoral care. Show all posts
Apr 8, 2014
Focus on the Family
by Matthew McEwan
The birth of a child is an exciting time, and for my wife and I that’s how the year 2013 came to a close. Micah was born on his due date, December 31st at 2:30 PM. Expecting a child through the season of Advent and Christmas forced me to make alternative arrangements for both worship services and church and family events should our baby’s arrival have come early. I knew that Christmas Dinners and programs could continue without me, but for worship services a lay minister was willing to provide pulpit supply and for the Christmas Eve Communion Service I invited a retired minister (Rev. Arthur Perry) to join us and help serve the Lord’s Supper. While the world celebrated the close of one year and anticipated the dawn of a new year, my family and church family celebrated the safe arrival of Micah.
Leaving the hospital I was aware that the year 2013 could have ended quite differently for us and our story could have been one of sorrow. A hospital is one setting where Romans 12:15 (the people of God are to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn) is in effect with full force. When some people in a hospital are welcoming a new life into their family, at the same moment you can find others on a different floor saying goodbye. Even in the labour and delivery unit, there are some families saying goodbye even before they had the opportunity to say hello.
After the arrival of each of my children I’ve left the birthing unit with gladness, but I’ve also experienced sorrow after the loss of a miscarriage. When my wife suggested that we have a service or a time of prayer, I found that I had no available resources. Although services for dedication or infant baptism are common and easy to find, there are fewer services for times of sorrow. Following the miscarriage I worked with the Study Commission on Doctrine to create a service to help begin the healing process for those who are grieving the loss of a miscarriage or stillbirth. Example of a service can be found here: http://fmcic.ca/index.php/en/who-we-are/position-papers/4-who-we-are/position-papers/899-service-for-miscarriage-or-stillbirth.
It’s not just a miscarriage or still birth that can cause sorrow, but also issues of infertility. Couples facing infertility and childlessness need empathy and support, and the Church must be equipped to deal with that form of loss. Unfulfilled hopes and dreams of a family are not instantly healed with the possibility of adoption. For couples seeking emotional healing with regards to infertility, good pastoral care and even counselling are needed.
There are a few examples in Scripture of women dealing with infertility, but perhaps the most striking example is Elizabeth in the Gospel of Luke chapter 1. The Gospel begins with Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth being described as being honourable people who were “…righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly” (Luke 1:6). The next verse says that they were childless and in that cultural and historical context most would have assumed this couple’s barrenness was a form of God’s judgment. Like Job’s friends who accused Job of sin for the cause of his suffering, or the disciples asking Jesus about whose sin was to blame because a man was born blind in John chapter 9, the stigma of infertility was such that Elizabeth said on the birth of her miracle child, “In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people” (Luke 1:25). This is a strange statement coming from Elizabeth since we’re told that even though she was righteous in God’s sight, her infertility was a source of disgrace among the people. While people today may not automatically equate infertility with sin or God’s judgment, couples facing childlessness still experience significant sorrow and grief much like the stories in Scripture whether one considers Sarah, Hannah or Elizabeth.
Again I return to Romans 12:15. It is easy for people in the Church to celebrate with a couple on the safe arrival of a new baby, but we are also called to mourn with those who mourn. Congregations that over-emphasize family ministry, family events and family programs may unintentionally make a couple mourning because of childlessness feel isolated. The Song of Songs presents a relationship between a man and a woman with no references to children. There is certainly a mystery to the sad reality that some who want children are unable to conceive, others may want a child yet experience a miscarriage, while still others choose to have an abortion. The challenge for the Church is not to understand this iniquity or even attempt to explain it, but simply rejoice with those who rejoice, and have awareness, empathy and sensitivity to be able to mourn with those who mourn.
Jul 25, 2012
A Story of Healing
by John Vlanic
I was taking a pastoral student intern with me on some initial visits in our Hospital. As we came onto one of the floors, the nursing staff told us we had a new patient with one of the progressive neuromuscular diseases (e.g. Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis, Huntington's and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease). This person seemed to be suffering a great deal – not physical pain, but spiritual suffering. The family had told the staff that the woman’s faith was very important to her. But now she could barely communicate. The best she could do was one-syllable gasps.
The student and I went in and tried to make Jesus “present” in every way we could. After explaining who we were and doing other things to “connect” I asked if we could read a psalm with her and pray with her. She responded with what was clearly a “yes.”
As I closed my Bible after reading a Psalm of trust, the woman, with great intensity, blurted out something that sounded like “Fie!” I told her I wasn’t getting it and asked her to repeat. Again, “Fie!” I said that she must be very frustrated with being no longer able to speak clearly. All we got was “Fie.” The student and I tried several possibilities, but all were clearly bad guesses. All we got, again and again, was a passionate “Fie!” We didn’t have a clue.
Suddenly I heard myself asking the patient, “Do you mean James 5?” There was a sound that was clearly an enthusiastic “yes!” I asked, “Are you wanting us to anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord Jesus and pray over you – as mentioned in James 5” She clearly did.
I told her we would be glad to do that, and excused myself to ask the nurses for some oil.
When I came back to the room I took time to assure the patient that I did believe that the Lord Jesus was going to heal her. I assured her that God is greater than we are, and so too are his healing ways.
Then it occurred to me to mention that in the Bible we see references to several kinds of healings.
Some are of the “James 5” type, where there is a clear physical reversal of the sickness. I agreed with her that this was the type I would long for if I were her, and that we joined her in wanting it for her. So I read from James 5:
Are any among you suffering? They should pray. Are any cheerful? They should sing songs of praise. Are any among you sick? They should call for the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. The prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise them up.
We let those words soak in. Then I explained that in the New Testament we also see what I call a “2 Corinthians 12” kind of healing. And I read:
A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.
I explained how, though we do not prefer this way of being healed, we do know that suffering – even deprivation – has long been an important tool for building Christ-like character, for healing our inner lives, and for finding deep joy of the sort most people never come to know. There are many scriptures that speak of this.
Then I mentioned a third kind of healing, the “Revelation 21” kind. We read:
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them as their God; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.” And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
I told her that she could stake her life on that promise! Then we prayed and anointed her in Jesus’ name, sure that he would indeed heal her – in one or more of those ways or another that flows from his great love for her.
Before we left, I used “scaling” with her – to give us some kind of base line for our next visit. If 0 represents “I feel totally abandoned by God; I’m in utter despair” and if 10 represents, “I feel God’s presence with me so much that it’s almost heaven,” where was she on the scale from 0 to 10? We heard (and verified) that it was 6. We talked very briefly about that and assured her we would be back in a few days, and would continue to pray for her on our own.
A few days later we went into this patient’s room. She was clearly as ill physically as before. If anything she seemed a bit weaker. We talked with this dear woman with whom we had cried out to God for healing. Soon I referred back to our time of prayer a few days earlier. I mentioned the fact that we had been praying for her in the meantime.
I also spoke of the humbling fact that we know neither the full details of God’s ways nor God’s timing in all these things. Eventually we shared a Psalm of trust, and expressed our confidence in the fact that Jesus was indeed healing her.
Before we left, I did the scaling again, hoping that with no visible positive change since we had anointed her and prayed, the 6 would not have turned into a 1 or a 0! We were a bit afraid about what we might learn.
But the patient blurted out something that sounded like a 10! I asked if she was saying “10” and she verified that she was. I inquired, “Are you telling me that you sense the presence of Jesus with you so powerfully, and that you have such peace in him that a 6 is nowhere near good enough to describe how Jesus has touched you?”
Again the response was an enthusiastic “Yes! Ten!”
So we prayed with her again, thanking God for his faithfulness in already healing her in a powerful way, and looking forward to the Day of final healing, and any other way he’d be pleased to heal her in the meantime!
Back in the office afterward, the seminary student and I tried to unpack some of what we had experienced. I said that I guessed that this woman had so read and re-read the Bible over her life that even though she (and we) wanted “James 5,” she knew with peace and certainty that “2 Corinthians 12” can happen if “James 5” doesn’t, and that “Revelation 21” surely will one day!
It was clear to both of us that a 2 Corinthians 12 healing had indeed taken place in this woman’s life. It was clear that now, in her weakness, this woman was strong!!
The student and I speculated about what might have been the case if this woman had not been a biblically informed Christian. She might well have believed EITHER:
● “healing is not for me; Jesus only did that back in Bible days” [which is FALSE; he does heal today]
OR
● “if I just have enough faith, and the right minister anoints me, God will always give me a miraculous, bodily, visible healing; if he doesn’t, it’s either because I don’t have enough faith or I haven’t gone to the right pastor” [which is also FALSE – even the Apostle Paul didn’t get the healing he wanted – though God did heal him; and I can point you to faith healers who wear glasses or contacts.
One of the key things this woman taught me is that when we find ourselves broken, it will make a world of difference whether we have read and actually internalized big chunks of scripture. It might mean the difference between an existence that is almost hellish, or one almost heavenly! We’ve already speculated about the result for this woman if she had not formed a biblical mindset.
Of course, the healing she received was the work of the Spirit. But I am sure that a life-time of reading the scriptures helped her to know to ask, and ask boldly, AND to know that the fact that God didn’t take away the “problem” in the way she had asked did NOT mean that he was not powerfully at work in her!
I saw the follower of Jesus in her room many more times. I myself was strengthened by the marvelous healing Jesus had done in her, was doing in her and would finally complete on that Day!
Her body wasn’t “fixed” in this world. But what amazing “good health” God gave her in her final days here!
Here’s the bottom line from all of this. Our God is a healing God! He has more ways of working his healing grace in our lives than you can shake a stick at! I assure you, he’s doing it, and he wants to do more of it! He does it in the three ways outlined above and many more.
Think of how our bodies work (auto-immune system, antibodies, etc.), or medicine & medical science, healing fruits and herbs from God’s creation.
And think of Prevenient grace (the grace that “goes before” we commit to Christ and awakens our hunger for God) and Regeneration (newness of life when we are “born again”). Think of the miraculous healing of lives as people grow in Christ-likeness! Think of the miracles of forgiveness and reconciliation (with God and with people).
Think of the Lord’s Supper, through which God keeps touching us and strengthening us. Think of Scripture and worship. There’s much, much more.
So ask him for what you think you need.
And be assured that he will give you what you do need (note that we did not say “want”).
And, if you can only “see” as my patient did, I predict that you will eventually recognize that, to allude to Ephesians 3, what he gives you is “abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine.”
So: Thank him!
Ask him!
Trust him!
Our God is a healing God!
I was taking a pastoral student intern with me on some initial visits in our Hospital. As we came onto one of the floors, the nursing staff told us we had a new patient with one of the progressive neuromuscular diseases (e.g. Parkinson's disease, multiple sclerosis, Huntington's and Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease). This person seemed to be suffering a great deal – not physical pain, but spiritual suffering. The family had told the staff that the woman’s faith was very important to her. But now she could barely communicate. The best she could do was one-syllable gasps.
The student and I went in and tried to make Jesus “present” in every way we could. After explaining who we were and doing other things to “connect” I asked if we could read a psalm with her and pray with her. She responded with what was clearly a “yes.”
As I closed my Bible after reading a Psalm of trust, the woman, with great intensity, blurted out something that sounded like “Fie!” I told her I wasn’t getting it and asked her to repeat. Again, “Fie!” I said that she must be very frustrated with being no longer able to speak clearly. All we got was “Fie.” The student and I tried several possibilities, but all were clearly bad guesses. All we got, again and again, was a passionate “Fie!” We didn’t have a clue.
Suddenly I heard myself asking the patient, “Do you mean James 5?” There was a sound that was clearly an enthusiastic “yes!” I asked, “Are you wanting us to anoint you with oil in the name of the Lord Jesus and pray over you – as mentioned in James 5” She clearly did.
I told her we would be glad to do that, and excused myself to ask the nurses for some oil.
When I came back to the room I took time to assure the patient that I did believe that the Lord Jesus was going to heal her. I assured her that God is greater than we are, and so too are his healing ways.
Then it occurred to me to mention that in the Bible we see references to several kinds of healings.
Some are of the “James 5” type, where there is a clear physical reversal of the sickness. I agreed with her that this was the type I would long for if I were her, and that we joined her in wanting it for her. So I read from James 5:
Are any among you suffering? They should pray. Are any cheerful? They should sing songs of praise. Are any among you sick? They should call for the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. The prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise them up.
We let those words soak in. Then I explained that in the New Testament we also see what I call a “2 Corinthians 12” kind of healing. And I read:
A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.
I explained how, though we do not prefer this way of being healed, we do know that suffering – even deprivation – has long been an important tool for building Christ-like character, for healing our inner lives, and for finding deep joy of the sort most people never come to know. There are many scriptures that speak of this.
Then I mentioned a third kind of healing, the “Revelation 21” kind. We read:
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them as their God; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.” And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
I told her that she could stake her life on that promise! Then we prayed and anointed her in Jesus’ name, sure that he would indeed heal her – in one or more of those ways or another that flows from his great love for her.
Before we left, I used “scaling” with her – to give us some kind of base line for our next visit. If 0 represents “I feel totally abandoned by God; I’m in utter despair” and if 10 represents, “I feel God’s presence with me so much that it’s almost heaven,” where was she on the scale from 0 to 10? We heard (and verified) that it was 6. We talked very briefly about that and assured her we would be back in a few days, and would continue to pray for her on our own.
A few days later we went into this patient’s room. She was clearly as ill physically as before. If anything she seemed a bit weaker. We talked with this dear woman with whom we had cried out to God for healing. Soon I referred back to our time of prayer a few days earlier. I mentioned the fact that we had been praying for her in the meantime.
I also spoke of the humbling fact that we know neither the full details of God’s ways nor God’s timing in all these things. Eventually we shared a Psalm of trust, and expressed our confidence in the fact that Jesus was indeed healing her.
Before we left, I did the scaling again, hoping that with no visible positive change since we had anointed her and prayed, the 6 would not have turned into a 1 or a 0! We were a bit afraid about what we might learn.
But the patient blurted out something that sounded like a 10! I asked if she was saying “10” and she verified that she was. I inquired, “Are you telling me that you sense the presence of Jesus with you so powerfully, and that you have such peace in him that a 6 is nowhere near good enough to describe how Jesus has touched you?”
Again the response was an enthusiastic “Yes! Ten!”
So we prayed with her again, thanking God for his faithfulness in already healing her in a powerful way, and looking forward to the Day of final healing, and any other way he’d be pleased to heal her in the meantime!
Back in the office afterward, the seminary student and I tried to unpack some of what we had experienced. I said that I guessed that this woman had so read and re-read the Bible over her life that even though she (and we) wanted “James 5,” she knew with peace and certainty that “2 Corinthians 12” can happen if “James 5” doesn’t, and that “Revelation 21” surely will one day!
It was clear to both of us that a 2 Corinthians 12 healing had indeed taken place in this woman’s life. It was clear that now, in her weakness, this woman was strong!!
The student and I speculated about what might have been the case if this woman had not been a biblically informed Christian. She might well have believed EITHER:
● “healing is not for me; Jesus only did that back in Bible days” [which is FALSE; he does heal today]
OR
● “if I just have enough faith, and the right minister anoints me, God will always give me a miraculous, bodily, visible healing; if he doesn’t, it’s either because I don’t have enough faith or I haven’t gone to the right pastor” [which is also FALSE – even the Apostle Paul didn’t get the healing he wanted – though God did heal him; and I can point you to faith healers who wear glasses or contacts.
One of the key things this woman taught me is that when we find ourselves broken, it will make a world of difference whether we have read and actually internalized big chunks of scripture. It might mean the difference between an existence that is almost hellish, or one almost heavenly! We’ve already speculated about the result for this woman if she had not formed a biblical mindset.
Of course, the healing she received was the work of the Spirit. But I am sure that a life-time of reading the scriptures helped her to know to ask, and ask boldly, AND to know that the fact that God didn’t take away the “problem” in the way she had asked did NOT mean that he was not powerfully at work in her!
I saw the follower of Jesus in her room many more times. I myself was strengthened by the marvelous healing Jesus had done in her, was doing in her and would finally complete on that Day!
Her body wasn’t “fixed” in this world. But what amazing “good health” God gave her in her final days here!
Here’s the bottom line from all of this. Our God is a healing God! He has more ways of working his healing grace in our lives than you can shake a stick at! I assure you, he’s doing it, and he wants to do more of it! He does it in the three ways outlined above and many more.
Think of how our bodies work (auto-immune system, antibodies, etc.), or medicine & medical science, healing fruits and herbs from God’s creation.
And think of Prevenient grace (the grace that “goes before” we commit to Christ and awakens our hunger for God) and Regeneration (newness of life when we are “born again”). Think of the miraculous healing of lives as people grow in Christ-likeness! Think of the miracles of forgiveness and reconciliation (with God and with people).
Think of the Lord’s Supper, through which God keeps touching us and strengthening us. Think of Scripture and worship. There’s much, much more.
So ask him for what you think you need.
And be assured that he will give you what you do need (note that we did not say “want”).
And, if you can only “see” as my patient did, I predict that you will eventually recognize that, to allude to Ephesians 3, what he gives you is “abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine.”
So: Thank him!
Ask him!
Trust him!
Our God is a healing God!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)